The Ohio Expatriate Blog

A short posting for all my friends…

I took a break from the writing desk a few minutes ago to walk outside and check the mail… I know, I know. Poor me. I work so hard.  Boo hoo. I never quite know what to expect when I unlock the box; mostly I expect bills and rejections from the various magazines I send my stories in blitzkrieg fashion. I am not normally disappointed in this regard.

Today, however, the box was empty… except for one piece of junkmail.

Now, I’m apathetic, as are most people, to junk mail. Sometimes the coupons can be useful; I even enjoy working the little crossword puzzle that comes every Wednesday in the Smart Shopper.  (If somebody more brilliant than me could explain why the words “oner” and “elan” seem to be favorites of crossword editors, I’d be most appreciative.) But today, was a first.

I got junkmail from Jesus.

Now, before you think me mad, I have photo proof:

Apparently some gackle of apocalpytic geese is planning on landing here in desert and offering a FREE seminar to people who want to understand why they need to behave like Chicken Little. I will say that, at least, they’re handing out bibles (along with an reading guide and DVD, so no one gets confused.) I  don’t know how the Gideons will feel about this, but the bible beating business isn’t copyrighted… unless you cross Pat Robertson. Then again, he won’t sue you…. he’ll just call for your assassination on Jesus TV. That, on the whole, is WAY more spiritual than a lawsuit.

I’ve gotten all kinds of tracts and readers; I used to have a collection of those pocket sized Chick Publication pamphlets that appeal to people by turning religous text in to a short comic. Here’s one that’s too good to pass up, because not ONLY is it slightly humorous… it’s also multi-cultural (the website says it has been adapted for black audiences… how nice.)

I'm DEAD!